106: Dangerous Assumptions with Kathy Ziola
Have you even been involved in a conversation where you walked away feeling more disconnected than when you started?
Have you been a part of a conversation where you felt as if your needs and feelings didn't matter?
If so, there is hope. Non-violent communication takes all the mystery out of HOW to have difficult conversations and gives you some tangible tools to put to use. Non-violent communication allows us to determine what is going on within us and what might be alive in another person so we can determine how can we share that in a way that we want to give and receive from one another.
Today's guest, Kathy Ziola has presented training events and retreats in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), relationships, healing, personal growth, and stress management over the past forty years. She has been teaching NVC since 2005, certified in 2009.
Kathy introduces us to something called Dangerous Assumptions which are thoughts and interpretations that we think are true. When we are so convinced we are right-it gives no choice but to assume the other person is 'wrong.' This type of thinking and communicating only sets us up for failure. It disconnects us from others
Listen to Learn:
What assumptions are and WHY they are dangerous to our relationships.
How we set ourselves up for conflict without even realizing it.
The Four Key Assumptions that keep us trapped in conflict and disconnection
How to communicate with truth and honestly, while still hearing the other person and acknowledging their needs simultaneously.
How we shift these assumptions to communicate in a way that is clear and honest.
I am so passionate about healthy communication. When we can understand that we all have universal needs and that at the crux-everyone is simply trying to get their needs met, it opens us up to a compassion and gentleness that sometimes can be hard to reach, because of all our assumptions.
You will love this episode as Kathy's passion to support others in creating relationships and systems that thrive through living with compassion, empathy, honesty and authentic presence is so prevalent.
“I like to think of NVC is a tool that helps us create safety in our relationships.“ ~Krista Resnick
“In NVC, we can express and share our deep needs and do that in ways that will pull out from other people their natural desire to give.” ~Kathy Ziola
“Assumptions are thoughts and interpretations that we think are true.“~ Kathy Ziola
“The dangerous thing about assumptions is that we believe they are truth…” ~Kathy Ziola
“When we make assumptions, we are asking for problems.”~ Kathy Ziola
"What does it mean about me if I wasn’t right? What would it mean about me if I were? What am I actually attached to here?" ~ Kathy Ziola
“When you aren’t living your truth, being authentic-your relationship can only go so deep.” ~ Krista Resnick
“Needs are qualities of life that feed us-they are universal. Needs are what motivate people.” ~Kathy Ziola
Krista Resnick-Website
Kathy Ziola-Website